


A Commercial For Christmas

by theianitor



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Christmas Presents, Christmas traditions, Commercials, Humor, Jealousy, M/M, Mistletoe, christmas food
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-09 02:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,295
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8872735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theianitor/pseuds/theianitor
Summary: As a Christmas gift to the fans, Channel Sportswatch is shooting special Christmas commercials. Drivers and team principals would be featured doing things traditional of Christmas in their native countries. Sebastian has some objections to the casting choices however, and Jenson is doing his best to survive some food he can't even pronounce.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [prompt_fills](https://archiveofourown.org/users/prompt_fills/gifts).



> Hiya. :) This took forever and got kind of long... if I have screwed up any words in Finnish I apologize most humbly! The request was pure gold and I hope this satisfies! :)

\- 2013 -

 

They say commercial success is all about location, and Channel Sportswatch seemed to embody that statement. A chance meeting between two well-off fans in a VIP-box at a race had led to a very late-night meeting over drinks and the two fans discussing at length what could be done to improve the coverage of Formula 1. They found they agreed on most points and when sufficient time to sober up had passed, the sloppy, over-drinks discussion was continued as a boardroom meeting (carried out in lowered voices and with a high consumption of sparkling water). A few months later, Channel Sportswatch was born.

Rights to air the rest of the season were bought and they streamed the races online to start building a fanbase. Before the end of the season Channel Sportswatch had already signed a deal to air the entire Formula 1 season the coming year under an online format, free with commercials and ad-free for a small fee.

 

\--

 

_(Early morning in a certain household...)_

Sebastian filled the kettle and clicked it on while Jenson got some fruit out of the refrigerator. It was blissfully quiet, but when Sebastian took a deep breath Jenson braced for impact. At least it was the last time, he told himself. The last day they’d be going through this discussion.

“Why do you get to do yours with _him_?”

“Seb, it’s not like I got to pick. It just turned out that way.”

“Yeah but why _him_?”

Jenson shook his head, smiling as Sebastian took two mugs out and put them down on the counter just a little too hard. They had been coming back to this since the promo-shoot had been announced.

As a Christmas gift to the fans, Channel Sportswatch was shooting special promotional material to be aired on many TV-channels worldwide, with extra material available online. The Christmas theme would be carried throughout, with drivers and team principals doing things traditional of Christmas in their native countries.

Most of the drivers had thought it was a fun idea, and even the ones who weren’t so in love with it were going along with it. Sebastian, however, had some objections – objections that he couldn’t really voice in front of anyone but Jenson, which meant he’d been catching an earful for a couple of weeks now.

“Because we’re the oldest? I don’t know.”

“Mark is older than you,” Sebastian muttered, moving to the next cabinet to get the teabags.

“Mark is retiring, and he’s doing his with Dan because they’re both Australian,” Jenson said but regretted it right away.

“So it should have been _him_ and Valtteri then,” Seb instantly protested.

“Valtteri is doing his with the other rookies.”

“... or with Romain, why can’t he do it with Romain? They’re teammates, it would make sense.” Sebastian kept talking over him, waving the bowl of sugar around.

Jenson was still smiling and didn’t bother hiding it when Sebastian finally turned towards him. The German looked very disapproving.

“Romain is doing his with the other Frenchies... Seb, why are you so up in arms about this?”

“I’m not!” Sebastian exclaimed. He stuck his lip out in a pout when Jenson chuckled at him, going in to squeeze his shoulders.

“See the thing I can’t figure out, Seb...” he said, carefully taking the sugar bowl out of Seb’s hand, “is if you’re more upset that we’re not doing ours together...” he hugged his boyfriend close and felt him relax in his arms, giving in and hugging back.

“... or if you just don’t like that I get to do mine with Kimi.” He grinned as Seb instantly tensed again, looking up at him like he hadn’t decided whether to hit him or kick him yet.

“It... I... no.”

“Besides, you get to do yours with Nico. That should be a bit of a treat.”

“Treat?” Sebastian said, turning around in Jenson’s arms to pour the water into their mugs. “Why would that be a treat?”

Jenson let him finish putting teabags in before he spun him around again, keeping him between the kitchen counter and himself.

“You’re both German, you’re both blonde... mostly...” Grinning, Jenson ran a hand through the now rather disgruntled Sebastian’s hair, which despite being cut was still blonde at the tips. He kissed Sebastian’s cheek.

“When you’re all clean-shaved you look like such a fresh-faced, innocent little thing...” he lowered his voice and was pleased to feel Sebastian’s hands tighten their grip on his sides. “...and Nico’s always good eye-candy, isn’t he?”

He gave Sebastian a little peck on the lips before he took his cup, took out the teabag, and started to add sugar.

“Wait... what did you say?” He knew Seb hated when he did things like that, but he couldn’t resist.

“Hm? Oh nothing,” Jenson said, stirring his tea and taking a sip.

“Eye-candy?!” He was surprised Seb managed to keep from stomping his foot.

“What?” he asked with a grin. “Oh, sorry, I thought we were _trying_ to make each other jealous.”

 

Seb didn’t talk to him again until they were in the car, heading to the studio.

“I’m not jealous,” he grumbled in a low, stubborn voice. “I’m not!” he repeated when Jenson shot him a disbelieving look.

“Ours is going to be stupid,” he continued when Jenson stayed quiet.

“No it’s not. Do you have any silly songs? Any gross food? Weird... hats, I don’t know? What is a German Christmas like anyway?”

“It’s just food and presents. Normal, with a tree – and there are definitely no hats.”

“It doesn’t sound like you’ve got much to worry about.” Jenson pulled the car into the lot outside the sound stage and turned to face Sebastian. “They’re gonna have you sit around with the others, eat some food, talk a bit of German maybe, and then you get to go.”

“It would be cooler with Kimi,” Seb mumbled.

“Well you can’t have Kimi, because _I_ get to play with Kimi. I don’t see what the big deal is, you’ve been going on about this for ages now. It’s just a PR-thing.”

“I’m going to wait after the filming so I can see yours,” Sebastian said resolutely as he got out of the car.

 

Inside the studio there was a living room-set, complete with a fake fireplace and every kind of Christmas decoration imaginable, as well as a dining room set up. In the dining room there was a table laden with Christmas food and other goodies, and four plates set with fancy place-cards. There were garlands with lights and glitter around the fake windows and Christmas baubles for decoration here and there on the table as well. Sebastian had been in a pout since that morning but when he saw the decorations and the food his eyes lit up. Jenson could tell he wanted to get closer, but there were people in crew-shirts everywhere and Sebastian was holding himself back for the sake of looking professional.

They shook hands with the director, a young man with a Channel Sportswatch-shirt, a clean-shaven head, and a big ring in his nose. He introduced himself as Martin and looked at a crumpled sheet of paper with little jotted notes on them when they told him their names.

“Right, Sebastian and Jenson. We’re almost ready to start yours,” he said, indicating Sebastian, “so if you go through there to get all made up and ready, and select a Christmas-shirt.” Sebastian was guided away by a crew-girl.

“You can stay in here if you like but you’ll have to be quiet.”

“Of course, thanks,” Jenson said. It wasn’t his first time on a commercial set.

“And don’t fill up on coffee; that food is all real,” Martin smiled as he walked off, giving instructions to two cameramen in a language Jenson didn’t understand.

 

He hadn’t been given any kind of script but if he was being told to not overindulge at the catering table and the food on set was real, Jenson assumed they would be eating.

“Are you going to be in our commercial?” Nico Hülkenberg appeared next to him and took a cookie. His hair had been gelled up and he was in a knitted, Christmas-green shirt with a big snowman on the front.

“No, I mistook the time and came in early,” Jenson lied out of habit. Hulk chuckled.

“... or you came here with Sebastian?”

“Or I came with Sebastian,” Jenson confirmed with a laugh.

“He didn’t seem to like his shirt,” Hulk said, stuffing another cookie into his mouth. “I think they are okay.” He brushed a few crumbs off of the snowman.

“He’ll be fine, he loves Christmas so just let him sit with all those decorations for a bit and tuck in to some of that food...”

“Did you see the Stollen?” Hulk interrupted, his eyes alight with excitement.

“The what?”

“The Stollen!”

“They made a Stollen?” Nico Rosberg asked as he appeared dressed in a neat, black shirt.

“Why don’t you have a Christmas shirt?” Hulk asked back, eyes narrowed. “I didn’t see any cool shirts in there.”

“No this is mine. I took it with me from home.” Nico looked very pleased. “It’s my Christmas shirt.”

“It’s not very Christmas,” Hulk glanced down at his snowman-shirt.

“Yes it is, it has glitter on it!” Nico moved a little and, sure enough, his shirt glittered in silver and green. Jenson laughed and they talked for a while before Adrian and Sebastian came out of wardrobe. Sebastian gave Nico a displeased look, but said nothing.

“Everybody’s here? Good, let’s get started!” Martin called, and the four German drivers took their seats at the table. At this distance Jenson couldn’t hear what they were being instructed to do, but it generally seemed to be about them just sitting there, talking and eating and being Christmassy.

It took them a little while to relax, but between the silly sweaters and an abundance of German candy they were soon laughing and joking and acting very natural. Besides Martin and his ‘main’ cameraman, Jenson noticed the two other cameramen were filming without really taking any instructions. In fact, they seemed to be filming most intently when the director said cut.

The Germans were dismissed after a few hours but Sebastian was held back to do a couple of readings of a slogan and a Christmas greeting for the online viewers. Jenson had decided to go to makeup so he’d be out of the way. He was doing his best to not sneeze from getting his face powdered when Kimi sauntered in.

“Good morning,” Jenson said with a smile.

“Morning,” Kimi replied in his usual flat tone. Jenson nodded to himself, having almost forgotten how little Kimi normally spoke. He wondered how many lines he’d be expected to remember for the shoot.

 

After makeup they were both handed red knitted sweaters which they put on without any comments. Jenson had to admire the courage of the young woman who handed Kimi his shirt with a smile, saying the cartoony reindeer on the front “would suit him”. His own shirt had a Christmas tree with glittery baubles on it. They walked out together and Jenson saw Sebastian over by the catering table, trying and failing to look like he wasn’t looking at them.

The crew had changed the table in the dining room-set. Gone were the German dishes and treats, replaced with a few things Jenson recognized very well and a few things he had no idea what they were.

“Okay guys here’s what we’re gonna do,” Martin walked over to them, consulting his crumpled paper. “We’ll do a bit here, having some food and talking, you know, and then we’ll move to the other set, and I’d really like it if you could wrap a couple of presents.”

Jenson nodded and Kimi paled a little.

“It doesn’t have to look good," Martin said bracingly. "Honestly, it’s almost better if it doesn’t, it’s just for fun.”

“So... we just sit here and talk?” Jenson asked hesitantly. He’d done a fair few commercials and promos before, but there had always been some kind of a script.

“Yeah that’d be great,” Martin smiled, nodding. “No swearing please, it makes editing a bitch.”

 

They sat down in their assigned seats and looked at the table in silence.

“Whenever you’re ready, you can grab some food and begin,” Martin called from the side of the set. The ‘main’ cameraman was next to him, following his quiet instructions for what to film. Behind them, Sebastian had moved as close as he could without being in the way.

“Right,” Jenson said, deciding to go for it, “what’s all this then?” Kimi made his usual little pre-talking sound before he answered.

“I could be asking you the same.”

“Well I got there first so you start. That’s a ham, I can see that.” He pointed at a small ham that looked like it was baked with mustard. A little bowl with a mustard-colored goop in it caught his eye. “What’s that?”

“It’s...” Kimi was looking for a word but soon gave up. “It’s fish, pretty good. Try.” He dug a piece of herring out of the goop with a fork and put it on the plate in front of Jenson. Deciding it couldn’t be stranger than a lot of Japanese fish-dishes he had tried, Jenson cut a smaller piece off and bravely put it in his mouth. It was creamy, mustardy, and fishy. He made a pained face and swallowed.

“It’s kind of an acquired taste, I’d say.”

Kimi just smirked at him and shrugged.

 

They both picked a few things they recognized to put on their plates and soon enough they were chatting and enjoying the food. Sebastian had disappeared from behind the camera crew and Jenson thought he must have gotten bored and returned to the catering table.

“Alright, I’m scared to ask but what’s that?” He had been curious about a big piece of semi-translucent _something_ on a plate that was definitely not part of traditional English Christmas food.

“Lipeäkala,” Kimi said after giving it a look. “The sauce is the best part.” He pointed to a little sauce boat with a thick white sauce in it.

“What is it though, the... lippy-thing, whatever you said?” Jenson got a little bit of fish off with his fork and looked at it skeptically. Kimi thought about it.

“Leaning... fish.” He tilted his hand to illustrate a lean. Jenson nodded slowly, deciding against delving further into the mysteries of the Finnish language, and put the piece of fish in his mouth. He gave it one, cautious chew.

“Oh holy...!” he spluttered, narrowly avoiding swearing. He picked up a napkin to discard the offending food-item from his mouth as nicely as possible. “It tastes _furry_!”

“I told you the sauce is the best part.” Kimi shrugged.

 

The camera crew kept hovering around them as they talked and only stopped briefly when Martin instructed them to move to the other end of the table. There were desserts here and they kept up their fairly easy small talk while indulging in a few sweets. Kimi smiled and took a star-shaped pastry with powdered sugar on it. He started happily munching away and Jenson didn’t think he’d ever seen him look so content.

“What’s that then?”

“Joulutorttu,” Kimi said, offering him one. Jenson bit it carefully, but it really was just a sweet pastry with some kind of jam in the middle.

“All these names sound really weird to me. I guess they’re normal if you speak Finnish but...”

“Like you have normal names for the food you mean?” Kimi asked, his eyebrow quirking upward. “With the pigs in bed and horse-devils and...”

“Excuse me, it’s pigs in blankets, and devils on horseback.”

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Kimi impatiently waved his hand at him, “and that is really normal names?”

“Well... I guess not, but... yeah, no, they’re not.”

They both fell silent, just looking at each other.

“Give me another one of them,” Jenson huffed.

“Joulutorttu,” Kimi muttered, taking another star-shaped pastry for himself and biting one of the points off.

 

“Somebody has made a mistake here,” Kimi said after a little while, pointing to a bowl with a dollop of something almost black in it.

“I’d say,” Jenson agreed.

“It’s not a Christmas food it’s for Easter.”

“What?” Jenson looked more closely at the black stuff. “You’re supposed to eat that?”

“Mämmi,” Kimi said.

“It looks like something died...”

Kimi huffed, but didn’t say anything. His eyes roamed the dessert table; at this point they were both pretty full.

“What the...” he stopped just short of cursing. “What is that?” He pointed at a brown mound with black dots in it. Jenson looked from him to the dish he was pointing at, and back again with a disbelieving smile. The pudding looked tasty but he couldn’t imagine eating any more.

“It’s pud, innit?”

“Looks like something died,” Kimi retorted, and managed to keep a straight face for a couple of seconds before breaking out in a grin. Jenson burst out laughing.

 

They were instructed to move to the next set to wrap some presents. When they got to the next table, Jenson looked up and realized Sebastian was hiding behind a Christmas tree at the edge of the set. Because of the angle from the dining room, he hadn’t seen him – it struck him that Seb had probably been standing there all along. He picked up a card from the table.

“I’ll do my best to not mess up spelling ‘Christmas’, yeah?” he said, writing carefully. When he had signed his name he gave Kimi the card to sign.

“It’s good if you write it so I don’t have to write so much,” he said, putting a signature on it before putting it in an envelope.

They did a couple of cards and kept talking, and Jenson kept an eye on Sebastian, still hiding behind the tree.

“I want to wrap a present,” Jenson said, taking out a small box. “Cut me some paper.” He took a small card and wrote on it.

“Did I spell this right?” he showed it to Kimi. The Finn read it through, flicked his eyes up once, and smiled.

“I think you did.” He cut off a piece of paper and handed it to Jenson, who put the card in a little box before wrapping it up neatly.

 

Kimi really didn’t have a hand for wrapping. He kept crinkling the paper and messing up the tape, so after some playful arguing they decided Jenson would wrap and Kimi would cut paper and hand him things. They had a couple of little gifts and cards to sign and Jenson suspected they’d be given away to Channel Sportswatch-fans. The only instructions they had been given were to wrap the presents, and when they were done take them through to the dining room and put them in a burlap sack with the ones the other drivers had wrapped.

“Finally, the last one!” Jenson said, putting a bow on the last little package with a sigh. As they stood up he carefully pocketed the first gift he had wrapped but he wasn’t quite quick enough; Kimi’s eyes instantly shifted to follow the movement.

They each picked up a couple of packages and walked through the door between the two sets, still followed by the cameras. Suddenly, Kimi stopped and Jenson almost walked right in to him.

“What are you...” Kimi was looking up at something and Jenson followed his line of sight. Somebody had put mistletoe over the door.

“Ah, of course,” Jenson said, nodding. “Is that not something you do in Finland?”

Kimi looked at him but didn’t say anything.

“It’s tradition to... well, to kiss. Under the mistletoe. You must have heard of it?”

Kimi still didn’t say anything, but looked from Jenson back to the mistletoe.

“I don’t know what happens if you don’t, I guess it’s bad luck or no presents or something...” Jenson babbled on. It made him terribly uncomfortable when people were quiet.

In a move that would become the most-viewed clip of the online campaign, Kimi grabbed the front of Jenson’s shirt, pulled him in to press his lips against the Brit’s cheek (although there would be some debate over the exact location in the comments), and tripped them both out of the shot and up against the wall, all in the span of a few seconds. If Jenson hadn’t been completely shocked, he might have heard the Christmas tree in the background gasp.

They got the presents into the bag and Martin yelled cut. Jenson was still a little dazed and wandered towards wardrobe to get his things, Kimi walking ahead of him. The makeup people had left, but Sebastian was waiting in there. He glared at Kimi.

“Seb,” Kimi greeted. Sebastian’s eyes narrowed even more.

“Seb,” the Finn repeated. His tone was sterner but he was smiling. He said something in Finnish that Jenson could never have repeated, but it seemed Sebastian understood it. He glanced at Jenson and then back at Kimi. Kimi changed back to his own shirt, said a short “bye”, and grinning, he ruffled Sebastian’s hair as he walked past.

“Okay... so what was that about?” Jenson asked as he pulled the red Christmas-shirt over his head.

For the second time that day he found himself up against a wall. This time the kiss was right on the mouth however, Sebastian was kissing him with a fervor he wasn’t quite used to. When they parted he felt as shocked as he had before, but more happily so. Sebastian looked determined, like something had been settled.

“Let’s go home,” he said, and then he left the room. Jenson got dressed, wondering what the heck Kimi had said... and when it would be best to give Sebastian his present.

 

Later that evening Sebastian was taking it easy on the couch, the TV was on but he wasn’t really watching. Jenson came into the room, bouncing the little box he had wrapped for the commercial in his hand, smiling to himself.

“I think you should open this present,” he said, handing the box over.

“But it’s a Christmas gift,” Sebastian said, shaking his head and pushing it back.

“I figure I wrapped it early so it doesn’t matter if you open it early, and besides, I want you to have it now.”

Sebastian couldn’t argue, and he really liked presents. For a wild moment he thought it might be an engagement ring. He carefully peeled the tape off and uncovered brown cardboard, which probably meant it wasn’t a proposal however. When he got the lid open he found a little card with a glittery Christmas tree on it. He picked it out and turned it over. On the back, in Jenson’s neatest handwriting, there was a message.

 

_"Dear Sebastian,_

_I can see you hiding behind the Christmas tree.”_

 

“Oh,” Seb said, putting the card down. He felt a bit silly but Jenson pulled him even closer, enveloping him in a big hug.

“Are you going to tell me why you’ve been acting funny?”

“It’s eh...” Sebastian pinched and pulled at the hem of his shirt, looking away. “Kimisaidyou’rehandsome,” he mumbled.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that?”

“I said Kimi said you’re handsome,” Seb said, unnecessarily loud and looking up almost defiantly. “He said it before, and again today.”  Jenson blinked at him but couldn’t think of anything to say for a few seconds.

“So...” Jenson started when he had gathered his thoughts a little, “so you weren’t being weird because _you_ have a thing for Kimi... you were being weird because you thought _I_ might suddenly for some reason have a thing for Kimi?”

“Maybe.” Sebastian pouted.

“You don’t think he might have said that to play a trick on you?”

“Do you think he, you know, looks... good?” Sebastian asked, disregarding Jenson’s question completely.

“No, sweetheart, I don’t. He’s okay, I guess, if you like that whole icy Nordic thing...” he kissed Seb’s hair.

“Which I don’t,” he added for safety’s sake. Sebastian leaned in close, feeling comfortable but still just a little silly; of course Jenson wouldn’t elope with _Kimi_. The idea was laughable, in hindsight. Then he realized something.

“You thought _I_ had a thing for Kimi?”

“Well, yeah?” At the incredulous look on Seb’s face Jenson started laughing. “It’s not exactly a far-fetched idea! You two are friendly, which is rare to start with in his case, but sometimes you get _really_ friendly...”

“Not that friendly,” Sebastian argued.

“Yes, that friendly,” Jenson countered. “Now give me a kiss.”

“Why?”

“Because I’ve never seen you do that with Kimi, and I like the idea of being friendlier with you than he is.”

Sebastian smiled and gave him a little kiss.

“I’m sorry about being jealous,” he muttered.

“I’m sorry for being silly too.” Jenson kissed him again. The TV went completely ignored and the two sat very close, talking quietly and just enjoying each other’s company.

 

-

 

_(That morning, not as early and in a completely different household...)_

“Do not understand.”

“...”

“Why _him_? Is no sense in you two...”

“I don’t understand what the big problem is with filming something with Button?” Kimi said, hoping the other would talk himself tired trying to explain whatever the problem may be. He could ignore that.

“Is not... he is very _flirty._ ”

Kimi’s lip curved ever so slightly upward. He could work with this.

“Sebastian is doing his filming just before us...” he mentioned, perfectly casually. Fernando’s eyes flashed and he was almost growling as he came around the table to give Kimi a possessive, passionate kiss. Oh yes, Kimi could work with this.

 

\-- The End --

**Author's Note:**

> All in good fun, as per usual! :) Thanks for the read. <3


End file.
